The Fifteenth Session: Part 2

After waking up to discover that Aoth, Shag, and Vissella had killed the rest of the vampires, Yief and Halrek were quite displeased to learn they were left out of the action, despite it being due to their own oversleeping. In an act of spite, they left to have their own adventure. They began by going to the Scum Barrel, a dingy bar in the Cemetery District. There were mostly peasants, and there were holes punched through the walls and dust everywhere. The bartender, Kyle, gave them a light colored ale that he referred to as "Bud Light." It seemed very watered down and was warm, so after intimidating a patron who they recognized from the bum fight, they left, making their way to the Lower Residential District to find some nicer taverns that were still affordable.

Along the way, they had the idea to start their own tavern, but would need an investor. They passed an agency called Raid: Shadow Legends and decided to go in. After haggling, they procured a contract that Yief would advertise for them when he fought in the arena, and would get 5% of the 10% savings people would get for signing up through his influence. Yief made them promise that if he became the arena grand champion, they would buy him the tavern. He then intimidated them into giving him their mead, which they chugged.

First coming to Average Joe's, they walked in and Yief went "Raid: Shadow Legends! I'm famous!" and the barkeep went "Oh god not another one...". They tried an IPA, which Yief didn't have a preference for over the flavor of Bud Light (to the dismay of the barkeep, Joe) but liked that it was more alcoholic. After hearing a nearby table of city guards lift their glasses in memoriam of a recently deceased friend, Yief and Halrek bought them a round of drinks and pretended to know the friend, Tommy, though by accidentally saying the wrong name multiple times, Yief prompted them to talk about four other deaths in the past two weeks, and also learned two of the guards' names (Bobby and Joey). After getting more information and Halrek discovering he preferred stouts to IPAs, they set off in the direction of the well where the guards said Tommy's (the recently deceased) body was.

Pit stopping along the way at Average Shmoe's, another tavern, they continuously made the barmaid uncomfortable as Halrek drunkenly kept changing his face, and Yief advertised for Raid: Shadow Legends (also prompting the barmaid to say "Oh god, not another one"). They avoided being kicked out when they expressed solidarity in the sorrow of Tommy's passing, and were once again given directions to the body. Taking ale to go in a sippy cup, Yief also took one "for the road," further confusing the barmaid, who complied anyway. Leaving the tavern, Yief poured the ale on the road, saying "that's for you, buddy." However, Yief got confused about his directions, and started walking toward the waterfront in the opposite direction of the well. Though Halrek was pretty sure he saw the well, Yief convinced him he was wrong.

Arriving at the waterfront, Yief said "The biggest well I've ever seen! Where's Bobby?" once again forgetting Tommy's name. He started peeing, intending to pee in the water but accidentally hitting Halrek's foot. Halrek attempted to move his foot, but Yief also tried to change direction to stop peeing on Halrek, and they moved the same way at the same time, resulting in Halrek getting a very wet foot. They then saw a fisherman who was staring at them in confusion, and began to interrogate him on the whereabouts of the body. Yief kept incorrectly guessing his name and trying to get him to personally lead them to the body, causing the man distress. Halrek made a sand castle while this happened, and discovered he had a knack for it, surprising the fisherman. They finally left, with Yief's exit line being "Raid: Shadow Legends!" prompting the fisherman to respond "Oh god not another one..." and once again drunkenly going the wrong way and ending up back at Average Joe's. Upon seeing that they had returned without finding Tommy, the guards offered to lead them to the body.

Arriving at the well, Halrek realized he had been right about seeing it before. The guards left when Yief said "Raid: Shadow Legends", saying "Oh god, not another one...". Investigating the body, which looked like Joe Pesci, they discovered he had been killed with a Keris blade (the wobbly daggers) and the wound showed he had been poisoned. They decided to go to bar in response to this information. They ended up at Moe's, where Yief accidentally walked into the door frame, and then drunkenly tried to fight it. The barkeep, and old man with short, curly grey hair and a scratchy voice, shouted "Hey! Leave my door alone!" pulling out a crossbow and making a hand motion as if he were pumping it like a shotgun, despite it having no pump. Yief came in Moe asked what they wanted, and despite Yief ordering an IPA and Halrek ordering a stout, he was already in the process of pouring both of them moonshine, and handed it to them. They both chugged it, and Yief passed out, prompting Moe to yell "Yeah! That's revenge for the door!" which pushed Halrek to try and dismantle the door hinges to steal the door in protest, but Moe ran out with his crossbow, once again pumping it like a shotgun, and engaged in a standoff with Halrek, who drew his darts. Seeing triple from his level of intoxication, he was surprised when someone behind him threw a bag over his head, causing him to throw his darts at random. Moe could be heard going "Ow, fuck!" as he was hit in the shoulder. Yief was also taken while unconscious.

Both awakened shortly after to their face coverings being pulled off, and their hands and feet bound. Three captors dressed like the Assassin's Guild members they had fought previously stood before them, drawing Keris blades. Yief began to trash talk and ask questions about metaphors he didn't understand due to taking them literally, and advertised for Riad: Shadow Legends, creating enough of a distraction for Halrek to reach one of his daggers and cut his hands free. Yief dodged an attempted killing blow, kicking the assassin in the shins and breaking out of his binds in a great feat of strength. Halrek also made a surprise attack, quickly cutting his feet loose after landing the blow. Halrek tripped when lunging at another of the assassins, getting stabbed in the process, but Yief jumped in between him and the assailant, giving him a chance to roll across the floor and jump out from behind Yief to doubly stab his foe, killing him. Yief finished off the first assassin, and the third tried to run, but was ensnared by a well thrown net by Yief. Interrogating him, they discovered the guild across the kingdom was notified of their group and would be hunting them, as there was a hefty bounty on their heads placed by an Ebony Soldier. They decided to let him go, with Halrek taking his face as a final warning not to come after them again, and they began to drunkenly stumble back to the Royal District to find Aoth, as they realized Halrek had been poisoned. They did, however, stop at Average Shmoe's again for another to-go cup of ale.